When P and A (couple chose to remain anonymous) decided to pursue fertility treatment to overcome their unexplained infertility diagnosis, they weren’t taking any chances. They decided to try in-vitro fertilization (IVF) with a donor egg.
As soon as Dr. Frederick connected the couple with a donor agency, A was checking out profiles on the website.
“We went from ten years of trying on our own to not taking any chances and finding a healthy donor,” explained A. “It was a process. We spent many days and hours researching profiles, trying to find someone who fit. Neither one of us were emotional about only having half a genetic connection. We knew that if P carried the babies, they were our babies.”
“We found the perfect donor right away,” said P. “But the day before she was supposed to meet with Dr. Frederick, she called to say she was pregnant. That was kind of devastating.”
Added A, “It sounds weird, but it’s kind of like a dating site. You read all these profiles and you get emotionally invested.”
The couple found a second donor, who ended up removing herself from the process. Although they were disappointed, they decided to keep trying and selected a third donor.
This donor had a great track record and seemed enthusiastic. Unfortunately, she “dropped off the face of the earth,” according to the couple.
P was ready to give up.
“I was angry. I didn’t want to do this anymore. I needed a break,” she recalled. “A said, ‘No. We can’t take a break. We want a baby.’ He was online every night asking, ‘What about this girl?’ I was like, ‘Just pick one. I don’t even care anymore.’”
The couple found a fourth donor in Bakersfield. She cost more and there would be travel expenses, but she already had three children, which was one of the criteria Dr. Frederick suggested they target in their search.
This donor ended up being a great choice.
“She was the most awesome candidate we could have ever had,” commented A. “She was cute and smart, and her little girls were so intelligent. Even HRC commented on how ‘with it’ she was as a donor.”
A and P agree their process to find the right egg donor for IVF wasn’t the easiest. However, they also wouldn’t change it because the family they have now is the one they always pictured for themselves.